Week 40 – A new beginning

The end of the year has always been a time for me to clear out the debris of the last year, and start looking forward to the New Year. Every December, once year-end exams had been written, I would do a major spring-clean of my room. Throw out all the notes from studying; file all the notes worth keeping; and generally clear my desk. At the same time I would discover all the books and magazines I had intended to read, and projects not yet completed…

As the years have passed I continued the tradition. The end of the year, with Christmas, summer holidays and celebrating the New Year is a time for clearing out all the rubbish which has accumulated, and clearing the decks for action in the New Year.

And this year has not been an exception. A few months back I would have found it very difficult to look forward positively. But all that seems to have changed… I am now very positive, and looking forward to the future.

I suppose the main reason is that I am now over 75% of the way through interferon treatment. And so far there has not been any recurrence of the melanoma. Obviously this does not mean that I will not have any challenges in the future, but it’s good enough for me at this stage!

A year out of one’s life seems like a long time. Particularly when one has had such a shock as melanoma … A year seems more than a lifetime. But time is inexorable – It carries on at its own steady rate, and the one thing we have no control over is time. And suddenly I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I’m starting to see the opportunities once I get out of this tunnel.

The time I have spent on interferon has not been wasted: - quite the opposite. It has given me a chance to catch up on many projects at home; I have been able to catch up on reading; I have spent time with friends and family. I have developed a better idea of what I want from life, and what I can bring to others.

And I think I have come to grips with my mortality. The young are totally convinced they will live for ever. But the one thing we all have to meet at some point or other is death: With some religious exceptions, no ordinary mortal has managed to change this simple fact. It’s not how long you manage to live: What is important is what you make of your life, and this is different for every one of us.

OK, enough preaching and moralizing!

I am also feeling much better. I still do the injections 3 times a week, and don’t feel too good after each dose. But I am doing much better than 6 months back, when I would barely recover from one injection before the next one was due. Perhaps my body is getting more used to the interferon, and is able to cope better.

But I think the main impact has been a new “nutritional supplement” which I have been taking for the last few weeks. Now, I tend to resist any wonderful new supplement, particularly if the manufacturer spends a lot on advertising. There are far too many vitamin and food supplements on the market – just look at how much shelf space they occupy in the stores. This particular supplement was recommended by his surgeon to my brother-in-law, after he had some rather nasty, major surgery. This product is soy-based. What I particularly liked is that it provides about 20% of the RDA for most vitamins and minerals, and provides 21 amino acids. It comes as powder which you mix with milk – The regular milk dose will obviously also provide some benefits.

Anyway, I am not trying to sell it to you. But I found that after about a week or so, I was recovering from each interferon injection much more rapidly. Whereas I previously needed at least 24 hours or so before I felt normal, I now need less than 12 hours. A few times I have been up at 6am to do some gardening, before the day gets too hot. Provided I don’t overdo it, I also seem to avoid the previous feelings of tiredness and exhaustion.

As a result, I have also been getting much more exercise. I have been doing a lot of gardening; done some work on the car; and made steady progress with my antenna project. I’m sure that getting more exercise contributes to feeling better… It is like a positive feedback cycle: The better I feel, the more exercise I am able to get, and then I feel even better.

So, what’s the bottom line to all of this? Well, I am feeling good, and also very positive about the future. I still have 3 months to go on interferon, and I’m not sure whether I want to try to get any work now, or wait until I am completely finished treatment. I work as an independent consultant, and have to go out looking for each contract. There can be a long lead time (unless you are lucky!), so I have decided to start developing my contacts and skills, with a view to getting some contract work by April or May. So, starting tomorrow (Monday) I will set aside 3 hours each day specifically to get back into work mode.

But it’s tough: I am really enjoying this sabbatical!