Week 76 - Perspectives

One needs a little distance from events before one can put them into proper perspective. I suppose international conflicts are good examples: Who today can really reflect on the American invasion of Iraq? Who knows how the situation in Darfur got to where it is today, and how it is going to turn out? Is the world really going to do anything about global warming before we have changed the planet beyond the point of no return?

Big questions.

The same applies to cancer. When you first discover you are affected, your whole world changes. All the plans and ideas you had in the past are thrown out the window. In theory you look at all the new alternatives, and map out a future and then carry on, right?

Not really. Unfortunately cancer, and HIV/Aids, and tsunamis, and motor accidents all have such a large impact that we struggle just to survive. It is very difficult to look forward to the future, and make plans.

I certainly found this to be the case. I have been free of interferon now for almost six months, and only now can I get some perspective on where I have been and where I am going. During that long year my attention was focused simply on survival: Put one foot in front of the other; do the right things; keep going.

Although I certainly had some long-term plans for the future, these had to take a back seat. I tried to get started with some projects, such as building a new house for our retirement, but couldn’t make any real progress. So many things were put on hold.

So, where am I now?

Well, the interferon treatment is just a bad dream from the past. I have put looking after myself at the top of my priority list – I try to eat right, I go to gym 3 times week, I watch myself carefully and visit my dermatologist regularly.

I continue to be interested in all aspects of cancer, but must admit that I don’t read all the blogs as much as I used to. I attend cancer support group meetings, but only if I don’t have anything more interesting to do!

The main problem I have, if you can call it a problem, is that I have far too many interesting things to do. Over the last year I built up a backlog of tasks, projects and ideas which needed doing, and now I’m trying to catch up. And I’ve had to do some serious soul-searching about my priorities – One just cannot do everything. So many things are still sitting on that list and will just have to wait until the time or opportunity presents itself.

I suppose the most significant thought is this: I was happily busy with my life when cancer came along and booted me up the backside. But painful as that was, I got through it. And there is life on the other side.