Week 24 - A thorny problem
I have been thinking for a while about a rather difficult problem… It’s not a nice one, and has no quick solution. I touched briefly on this in my long posting in Week 20 … I hope I didn’t put too many people off with such difficult issues!
Here is the background: I have been working conscientiously to do the interferon thing as best I can, and also have been doing everything else I can find to make this whole process as successful as possible. And everything seems to be going well. Apart from the interferon treatment, and its effects, I am doing quite well, and even considering taking on some part-time work. I have been keeping very busy, with a whole lot of projects of my own.
I am almost at the halfway mark, and starting to look ahead to finishing the interferon year, and getting back to a normal life. It is now within reach, and I am even starting to make plans for what I will do next year. I have some trips around the country which had to be postponed and now I can start planning and booking.
So, what’s the problem?
Well, as you will know if you have been reading my blog, I have been doing a lot of research on melanoma. Over the last six months I have learned a lot about the disease. More than that, I have been tackling the mental side of it, and have been trying to sort out my feelings … What it is really about; Where I am in my life; Etc.
What I have been doing is consciously pushing myself to look at every aspect, even if this is painful and difficult. And I think the process is working. I have sorted out quite a few issues in my life … And even realized that some things which seemed to be big issues were in fact no longer problems.
One part of the picture which helps is to have a positive approach to everything. It’s not always easy to keep a positive approach. But I have always tried to look on the bright side … Bad experiences are mostly ‘learning experiences’, and one comes out at the other side stronger in many ways.
So, to repeat the question: What’s the problem?
Well, it is all very well having a positive attitude, and doing everything correctly. I am rather a cynic at times, and I don’t believe that one can solve this kind of problem simply by positive thinking. However much I would like to believe that I am going to be cured, I recognize that I need to be realistic, and accept that there is also a chance that it will not be successful, and that the melanoma will reappear. And then there will be all the nasty possibilities: Further surgery; further treatment; and even the worst possible outcome, death.
I am forcing myself to look at this problem head-on. Even three months back I don’t think I would have been able to do this. And even now, I don’t know how to move forward. But I am thinking about it, and discussing it with myself, with my wife, and a few of my good friends. The principle I am following is that, for me, there is no point in just ignoring the problem and hoping it will go away. I need to be positive, but also I must be realistic. I need to work out what it all means to me. I suppose I am trying to prepare myself for all the possible different outcomes, so that I will not be shocked again if it does not work out as positively as I would like.
Shalom
Here is the background: I have been working conscientiously to do the interferon thing as best I can, and also have been doing everything else I can find to make this whole process as successful as possible. And everything seems to be going well. Apart from the interferon treatment, and its effects, I am doing quite well, and even considering taking on some part-time work. I have been keeping very busy, with a whole lot of projects of my own.
I am almost at the halfway mark, and starting to look ahead to finishing the interferon year, and getting back to a normal life. It is now within reach, and I am even starting to make plans for what I will do next year. I have some trips around the country which had to be postponed and now I can start planning and booking.
So, what’s the problem?
Well, as you will know if you have been reading my blog, I have been doing a lot of research on melanoma. Over the last six months I have learned a lot about the disease. More than that, I have been tackling the mental side of it, and have been trying to sort out my feelings … What it is really about; Where I am in my life; Etc.
What I have been doing is consciously pushing myself to look at every aspect, even if this is painful and difficult. And I think the process is working. I have sorted out quite a few issues in my life … And even realized that some things which seemed to be big issues were in fact no longer problems.
One part of the picture which helps is to have a positive approach to everything. It’s not always easy to keep a positive approach. But I have always tried to look on the bright side … Bad experiences are mostly ‘learning experiences’, and one comes out at the other side stronger in many ways.
So, to repeat the question: What’s the problem?
Well, it is all very well having a positive attitude, and doing everything correctly. I am rather a cynic at times, and I don’t believe that one can solve this kind of problem simply by positive thinking. However much I would like to believe that I am going to be cured, I recognize that I need to be realistic, and accept that there is also a chance that it will not be successful, and that the melanoma will reappear. And then there will be all the nasty possibilities: Further surgery; further treatment; and even the worst possible outcome, death.
I am forcing myself to look at this problem head-on. Even three months back I don’t think I would have been able to do this. And even now, I don’t know how to move forward. But I am thinking about it, and discussing it with myself, with my wife, and a few of my good friends. The principle I am following is that, for me, there is no point in just ignoring the problem and hoping it will go away. I need to be positive, but also I must be realistic. I need to work out what it all means to me. I suppose I am trying to prepare myself for all the possible different outcomes, so that I will not be shocked again if it does not work out as positively as I would like.
Shalom
posted by Peter | 11:17 PM
1 Comments:
I respect you acknowledging the realities of a higher stage Melanoma diagnosis. It is not the easiest information to face but it needs to be understood.
Now that you have that knowledge, tuck it away and look forward to life without interferon in six months!
Ever forward, positive and Living STRONG!
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