Week 50 – How to warn someone about skin cancer

A couple of weeks back I was dealing with some family business, and I spent some time standing in queues at a bank and a government department. In both cases I was there for what seemed like ages, but was probably only half an hour or so.

When you are in a queue there is not much to do except observe the other people around you. If you brought a book or magazine you could at least read. Talking on the mobile phone is a no-no, but you can catch up on some text messages.

So, I was behind a nice lady in this queue. It is late summer here, and she was dressed in a sun dress. I always notice girls with a nice tan… But I couldn’t help noticing that she had a couple of suspicious looking moles on her shoulder and arms. Now, over the last year I have learnt a lot about skin cancer. I know that not every mole is dangerous, but I also know that it is better to see a dermatologist early rather than late.

So, what to do? I think all of us in this melanoma boat have been through the same experience: To start off with we probably don’t take it seriously. And even if we do, we think it will be easy to “fix” the problem – a little liquid nitrogen, or some minor surgery, and the problem will be gone. But if it develops into melanoma all the simple rules go out the window.

I know from many visits to my dermatologist that he can take one look at a mole or mark, and almost instantly classify it – usually as something benign. But when I was first diagnosed with melanoma, it was slightly different. He removed a small growth, and sent it away to the pathologist. I did not really think much about it, but he called me very early the next Monday morning, and wanted to see me immediately. And within another day I was in the clinic for some surgery to remove more material from the site!

So, what to do? Should I introduce myself in the queue, in front of many other people, and suggest she should see her GP or a dermatologist? Will she just get embarrassed, or will she get upset or worse, and tell me to mind my own business? Or will she think I am trying out a novel way to meet girls, and just ignore the whole issue?

I suppose we need to recognize that each person has their own life, history, and problems, about which we know absolutely nothing. So it would be dangerous to jump in and assume that our approach would be understood. In this country, there could be language differences. The lady-in-the-queue may have a skin ailment, and may be only too aware of it … and will not be happy to have attention drawn to it in public! Or she may have a more serious problem, such as HIV/Aids, or eczema, acne, psoriasis, or even shingles.

So, there seems to be no easy way to decide what to do. I have found in other circumstances that a good way forward is to tell my own story, even if only briefly. This will set the scene, and establish my credentials – Not a pick-up line, etc. Then one can decide on whether to raise a concern, and suggest a course of action. Not so easy to do in the queue at the bank!

Makes sense to me.