Week 51 – How to get through a CT/PET scan
The big news this week is that I went for a “final” CT/PET scan today! I don’t have any results yet, and will only get that next Monday when I have an appointment with the oncologist.
I was so worried about the actual scan itself – more so than the possible results. At my first scan, a year ago, I suffered quite badly from claustrophobia, and had to take a couple of pills to get through it. So I was building up this fear in my mind. This time was longer, as they did two scans, covering from the very top of my head to the bottom of my feet!
I discussed my fears in advance with them, and I was given a dormicum tablet, and this helped greatly. Also, a couple of weeks back I decided that I had to prepare myself with some positive imagery, and I planned to spend 20 minutes every day practicing. However, I somehow “forgot” most days, so I did not do much practicing. I think this was because I really wanted to put it out of my mind, and put off the evil day.
Anyway, I did use some imagining, and it seemed to have a good effect. I chose as a subject the beach at Sedgefield, in the Eastern Cape. We have been going there for close on 40 years, and I know and love this place. I pictured myself getting out of the car at the beach, walking down the old wooden steps to the beach, then taking off my shoes before walking down to the water. I walked along the beach, getting my feet wet, and remembered all the nice things I have seen there: The gulls, who never let you get too close; the periwinkles which breed in the sand; the occasional piece of dead jellyfish, which drive the periwinkles wild – must be good food for them! The Black Oystercatchers, which are protected on these beaches; Once we even found a seal which came up out of the water and was sunning himself on the sand. The beach runs on for a long walk, around a small bay, and over some rocks, until you reach a small island which we call The Sphinx.
Anyway, you get the idea. I found I could picture myself there, and it helped to take my mind off the scan. When I tried this at home, I found it so relaxed me that I went to sleep, and woke up 10 minutes later, wondering where I was!
The scan must have been worrying me more than I realized: When I got home I felt rather flat… And had to think carefully what I wanted to do for the rest of the day. I think I was concentrating so much on the scan that I could not think past it.
So next week I will find out what the scans show. I am “cautiously optimistic” that the scans will be completely negative! We caught the original melanoma fairly early on, and I have been on interferon treatment for almost a year. I had some chest and torso ultrasounds a few months back, which showed nothing. And those of you who have been reading my blog know that I have been working hard to do everything in my power to make the treatment a success. I lost some weight, I have tried to keep active, both physically and mentally, I have improved my diet, and I have been taking some good vitamin supplements. I have also been watching my health, and have probably overdone the visits to the dermatologist!
So, next week all will be revealed!
On another topic, I continue to be amazed and impressed by the wonderful (and sad) stories I have found on the internet. The stories are unique, each written from the heart by someone who is battling this scourge. Each person brings a new view, and I have found enormous strength in reading them. Not all the stories have a happy ending, and I have cried at a few of the losses. For a while I stopped reading other stories, as they just made me too sad, and I felt I could not cope with them.
With the way the blog world works, these stories remain on the web, and are still accessible, unless someone has taken the trouble to remove them. I’m sure this is not an original thought, but I wondered about whether one could collect them together in some way, to make then available to those who will follow us. I first thought of publishing them in a book. This may work to some extent, but a book is limiting in many ways: It would become fixed at a point in time, and miss out on new additions. Also, it would be fairly complicated to obtain authorization from each author, or author’s family, and this could further limit the range.
Another way would be to simply publish an index on the web. This would point to the original document, wherever it may reside. I don’t see any problem in doing this, and I don’t think anyone would object, as the source material is already available in the public domain.
What do you think? Could we start such a list? Or has it been done before? It could be a combined effort, not depending on any one person, and could have a continuity all its own.
I was so worried about the actual scan itself – more so than the possible results. At my first scan, a year ago, I suffered quite badly from claustrophobia, and had to take a couple of pills to get through it. So I was building up this fear in my mind. This time was longer, as they did two scans, covering from the very top of my head to the bottom of my feet!
I discussed my fears in advance with them, and I was given a dormicum tablet, and this helped greatly. Also, a couple of weeks back I decided that I had to prepare myself with some positive imagery, and I planned to spend 20 minutes every day practicing. However, I somehow “forgot” most days, so I did not do much practicing. I think this was because I really wanted to put it out of my mind, and put off the evil day.
Anyway, I did use some imagining, and it seemed to have a good effect. I chose as a subject the beach at Sedgefield, in the Eastern Cape. We have been going there for close on 40 years, and I know and love this place. I pictured myself getting out of the car at the beach, walking down the old wooden steps to the beach, then taking off my shoes before walking down to the water. I walked along the beach, getting my feet wet, and remembered all the nice things I have seen there: The gulls, who never let you get too close; the periwinkles which breed in the sand; the occasional piece of dead jellyfish, which drive the periwinkles wild – must be good food for them! The Black Oystercatchers, which are protected on these beaches; Once we even found a seal which came up out of the water and was sunning himself on the sand. The beach runs on for a long walk, around a small bay, and over some rocks, until you reach a small island which we call The Sphinx.
Anyway, you get the idea. I found I could picture myself there, and it helped to take my mind off the scan. When I tried this at home, I found it so relaxed me that I went to sleep, and woke up 10 minutes later, wondering where I was!
The scan must have been worrying me more than I realized: When I got home I felt rather flat… And had to think carefully what I wanted to do for the rest of the day. I think I was concentrating so much on the scan that I could not think past it.
So next week I will find out what the scans show. I am “cautiously optimistic” that the scans will be completely negative! We caught the original melanoma fairly early on, and I have been on interferon treatment for almost a year. I had some chest and torso ultrasounds a few months back, which showed nothing. And those of you who have been reading my blog know that I have been working hard to do everything in my power to make the treatment a success. I lost some weight, I have tried to keep active, both physically and mentally, I have improved my diet, and I have been taking some good vitamin supplements. I have also been watching my health, and have probably overdone the visits to the dermatologist!
So, next week all will be revealed!
On another topic, I continue to be amazed and impressed by the wonderful (and sad) stories I have found on the internet. The stories are unique, each written from the heart by someone who is battling this scourge. Each person brings a new view, and I have found enormous strength in reading them. Not all the stories have a happy ending, and I have cried at a few of the losses. For a while I stopped reading other stories, as they just made me too sad, and I felt I could not cope with them.
With the way the blog world works, these stories remain on the web, and are still accessible, unless someone has taken the trouble to remove them. I’m sure this is not an original thought, but I wondered about whether one could collect them together in some way, to make then available to those who will follow us. I first thought of publishing them in a book. This may work to some extent, but a book is limiting in many ways: It would become fixed at a point in time, and miss out on new additions. Also, it would be fairly complicated to obtain authorization from each author, or author’s family, and this could further limit the range.
Another way would be to simply publish an index on the web. This would point to the original document, wherever it may reside. I don’t see any problem in doing this, and I don’t think anyone would object, as the source material is already available in the public domain.
What do you think? Could we start such a list? Or has it been done before? It could be a combined effort, not depending on any one person, and could have a continuity all its own.
posted by Peter | 10:21 PM
1 Comments:
Peter,
Congrats on your last scan! It must feel great to get that over with. And don't sweat it- I'm sure it will be all clear. I'm sending positive thoughts your way, and keep us posted. We'll be raising a glass here to celebrate that last shot! I'm sure you will, too.
- Lori
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